Feeling Less Thankful and More Stressed This Thanksgiving?

Co-authored with Dr. Forrest Morgeson, an associate professor in the marketing department, Broad College of Business, Michigan State University; Lisa Speck, SVP, Behavioral Insights and Sales at Qrious Insight; and Melanie Courtright, CEO of Insights Association.

Thanksgiving—a special day each year when we stop and consider our blessings. It’s a time for reflection on all of the things we should be thankful for but often take for granted—our families, our friends, our jobs, and the joyful moments we had during the year—and celebrate with loved ones over comfort foods.

A general state of thankfulness and appreciation, often referred to as gratitude, has been associated with a variety of mental, emotional, and even physical benefits, such as an increase in happiness, life satisfaction, prosocial behavior, decrease in diastolic blood pressure, improved sleep, and more.

Thankful? Yes—But Also Stressful

Yet, alongside the festive feeling, social gatherings, rituals, and expectations for happy moments, studies show that holiday-related tasks can put a damper on the traditional Thanksgiving spirit and enthusiasm, making it difficult for individuals to feel truly thankful.

Indeed, according to our recent survey of 300 individuals (ages 18-65; 50 percent women), only 38.1 percent of them are very or extremely excited about celebrating Thanksgiving this year, while almost a third reported being only slightly excited or not excited at all. Even being thankful seems to be a challenge this year, as less than 50 percent of the respondents feel very thankful or extremely thankful, and more than 25 percent are slightly thankful or not thankful at all. On the other hand, almost 80 percent of the respondents report feeling stressed at some level, with almost 25 percent being very or extremely stressed.

Interestingly, the things we are most thankful for are also the things that stress us the most. Our survey revealed that people were mostly thankful for their family and friends (49.2 percent), their health and well-being (37.2 percent), spending time with family and friends (21.9 percent), and financial stability (12.6 percent). On the other hand, they were stressed over interacting with people (family mainly) during the holiday (31.5 percent), cooking well for the holiday (21.9 percent), their overall financial situation (16.5 percent), and getting their house ready for the holiday (13 percent).

How Can You Be More Thankful on Thanksgiving?

It seems that it’s the social gathering aspect that may be taking its toll on our festive feelings. Indeed, the vast majority of respondents in our survey are either hosting Thanksgiving dinner (41.1 percent) or attending one (51.1 percent), with only 5 percent not celebrating the holiday at all. On average, we are expected to spend around $169.18, according to our survey. There are several things we can do to help us focus on the holiday spirit, feel more thankful, and build meaningful memories with loved ones while alleviating our stress.

1. Lighten the workload.

Preparing for the holiday season can be a daunting task, especially if you are the host. However, there are ways to make it less stressful. Consider asking your guests to bring a dish or two for dinner to make it a communal effort. You can also involve your kids in the preparations to create some fun family memories. Another option is to take advantage of retailers that offer pre-selected Thanksgiving meal options. These options can help lighten your workload and make the day more enjoyable for everyone.

2. Don’t aim for perfection.

According to our survey, the excitement of having family and friends around the table is often overshadowed by the stress of getting everything perfect for Thanksgiving. However, it’s important not to forget the true spirit of the holiday and not to overcomplicate things. It’s OK if things don’t go exactly as planned, as these are the moments that make memories.

One practical way to reduce stress is by creating a to-do list, and breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps, to help you stay on target. But it’s also crucial to be mindful of your limits and not overextend yourself, as this can lead to disappointment. So, take a deep breath, enjoy the holiday, and cherish the time with your loved ones.

3. Ignore the penguin.

The social interaction with family members during Thanksgiving was a significant source of stress for our respondents. Gabe Karp, bestselling author of Don’t Get Mad at Penguins, offers valuable advice on how to eliminate toxicity from our social interactions.

One of his key recommendations is to acknowledge that people have flaws and that they are unlikely to change, just like penguins are incapable of flying like other birds. Reacting with anger or frustration towards the behavior of such individuals will not bring about any change. However, once you accept this reality, you can deal with them more effectively and prevent their actions from affecting you.

So, the next time you receive an unwelcome or hurtful comment from someone, just remember to view them as a penguin—it might be a helpful perspective to have!

4. Give the gift of gratitude—the right way.

While there are some positive effects to gratitude practices, such as writing down or saying out loud what you are thankful for, recent studies show that the greatest benefits we derive from gratitude are when we see someone else expressing it. This means that when you express gratitude to someone else, that person benefits more from it. Similarly, when someone expresses gratitude to you, you derive greater benefits from that act. Therefore, this Thanksgiving holiday, give the gift of gratitude to others and help them feel less stressed.

5. Be truly thankful.

Our survey indicates that people feel less than thankful this Thanksgiving holiday. Sometimes it can be easy to overlook the blessings we have in our lives, especially when we are preoccupied with financial struggles or work-related stress.

However, it is important to take a moment to reflect and appreciate the positive aspects of our lives. We should focus on good health, positive relationships, and the opportunities that we have been afforded. Let us all take some time this Thanksgiving holiday to express gratitude for the blessings in our lives.

Thanksgiving is a special holiday that allows us to give thanks, make memories with our loved ones, and indulge in amazing food. But it can also be a time of great stress and anxiety. By taking these simple steps, we can enjoy the holiday spirit and all the good that comes with it.

Happy Thanksgiving!