Which People Are Likely to Indulge in ‘Revenge Cheating’?

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Infidelity is one of the leading causes of relationship breakdowns, affecting approximately 25 percent of married, heterosexual couples in the United States and leading to heightened psychological distress for the partner that is cheated on.

A new study examines the associations between the “Dark Tetrad” personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and everyday sadism and the likelihood of individuals with these traits perpetrating different forms of infidelity.

Here are the three types of infidelity and the personalities that are most likely to commit them:

1. Physical Infidelity

Physical infidelity involves participating in physically intimate or sexual activities with an individual outside of one’s committed romantic relationship. It is a breach of exclusivity and agreed-upon boundaries within the relationship.

Researchers found that high levels of psychopathy, characterized by antisocial behaviors, thrill-seeking, low empathy, and callousness, are linked to engaging in physical infidelity. Research shows that psychopathic individuals tend to prefer short-term relationships, which can enhance their propensity to cheat, with physical relationships satisfying their immediate, impulsive needs.

Additionally, men with high levels of sadism, characterized by deriving pleasure from causing harm, humiliation, or suffering to others, are also more inclined to commit such acts.

2. Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity refers to forming a deep emotional connection outside of one’s primary romantic relationship. This typically involves sharing personal thoughts and feelings exclusively with the other person, attending important events together, and deceiving one’s current partner about the emotional involvement with the third party. Emotional infidelity may co-occur with physical infidelity or manifest independently and poses a significant threat to the emotional connection and trust within a committed relationship.

Researchers found that individuals with high levels of psychopathy and narcissism are especially inclined toward this form of cheating. The traits associated with narcissism, such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, entitlement, low empathy, and lower levels of relational commitment contribute to the likelihood of emotional infidelity.

Research shows that narcissists tend to experience lower relationship satisfaction due to their demands for constant validation and admiration, which can be difficult for their partner to continuously provide, as well as their expectation of perfection from their partner. These often self-created, lower levels of satisfaction drive narcissistic individuals to emotionally cheat.

3. Malevolent Infidelity

Malevolent infidelity involves cheating that is motivated by a desire for retribution, aimed at causing emotional or reputational harm to the primary partner. In this context, infidelity is an act of revenge based on a perceived wrongdoing within the relationship. This type of infidelity is characterized by a deliberate effort to retaliate, often driven by feelings of anger or dissatisfaction or the need to restore a perceived imbalance of power in the relationship.

A 2023 study found that individuals with dark personalities are much more likely to hold grudges and ruminate over angry thoughts, making them unable to forgive their partners and instead becoming consumed with thoughts of revenge.

Researchers found that along with psychopaths, highly sadistic individuals, motivated by their enjoyment of causing harm, were most likely to engage in malevolent infidelity. Narcissistic women were also more likely than men to engage in this form of romantic revenge. In some cases, this may be a form of payback against a partner who has also been unfaithful to them.

Conclusion

Understanding the underlying factors that contribute to infidelity can facilitate open and honest communication between partners. Recognizing these signs within oneself or a partner may serve as an early warning system, allowing individuals to address issues in their relationships proactively. Therapists can also tailor interventions based on this understanding, providing more effective support to couples dealing with issues related to trust, betrayal, and revenge-driven infidelity.